A report in the telegraph.co.uk on Friday 13th May posed the question, “Is Friday 13th a disaster for business?” Apparently, over the last five years the FTSE 100 has closed lower on eight of the ten Friday 13ths. Other financial disasters have happened in recent years on this fateful date, including a dramatic drop in China’s GDP growth, and the running aground with fatal consequences of the Italian cruise liner the Costa Concordia. Coincidence, or are some dark forces at work?
On ‘Black Friday’ 13th October 1989, a failed buyout of United Airlines sent the stock markets plunging and in January of the same year IBM stock plunged as a result of data loss from a computer virus. Just coincidence, or is the ghost of a hockey-keeper-masked, chainsaw-wielding Jason stalking the corridors of Wall Street? Either way, it represents an impediment to the smooth, onward march of International Capitalism, and as such there are plans afoot to remove it.
Now, US Presidential candidate, Donald Trumps, in a move aimed at protecting the wealth base of America’s elite, has declared he will ban Friday the 13th in the future if elected President of the USA. In a recent media briefing he said, “Research findings tell us that one in four believe Friday 13th brings bad luck, which can in itself become a self-fulfilling prophesy. One in ten refuse to fly and road accidents are higher than on any other Friday.
“I say, in the interests of maintaining commercial consistency and saving the lives of unlucky citizens, we need to remove this glitch, neutralise it with maximum prejudice, and ban this unlucky date once and for all. This can be achieved by skipping a day, and going from the 12th straight to the 14th, in such a month when it (crossing himself) is due to occur, and adding another number onto the end of the month, either a 31st or a 32nd.”
When asked, “What happens in a February in a leap year, Sir?”
He replied, “Hell, you do the math, boy!”
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Tim Walker 